Preparing for Life Postpartum: Our Top Tips
Pregnant people and their support team often spend a great deal of time preparing for labor and birth. This is real and valid! It is also important to plan for the postpartum period. During this time, the birthing person’s body will be processing the birth and recovering, the family will be adjusting to a new chapter of life, and roles may be in transition.
We want to acknowledge that postpartum people who are not parenting are often left out of these conversations. We honor and respect those that move through this chapter without parenting a baby, for any and all reasons. Not all of these tips will apply to all people, and we hope that you take what works and leave what does not apply to you.
The postpartum period, often referred to as “the fourth trimester”, is a transitional time. The immediate postpartum period is typically considered 3 months after birth. However, you may find that you experience different layers of the postpartum period for several months or even years. Many holistic practitioners work within a framework that acknowledges that people are postpartum for life.
Under capitalism and dominant, patriarchal culture, there is pressure for new parents to grin and bear it. Whether these messages are direct or indirect, birthing people may push themselves to do it all or do too much because they can or think they “should.” Many of us are socialized in a way that leads us to value independence over interdependence, and this can be an immense obstacle when planning for postpartum.
Can you get comfortable with the discomfort of asking for help?
During the postpartum time, we encourage new parents to call on their communities for care and support. As much as it is possible, this is the time to slow down, ask for help, and say no to anything that feels extra.
Connecting with Community
Humans need connection. Social connection contributes to correlating anxiety, depression, and loneliness. During postpartum (especially if you are experiencing postpartum during the pandemic), things can already feel isolating, as you will likely be home healing and adjusting to life after pregnancy.
We invite pregnant people to consider what connection and support may look like for you during the postpartum time. If you have hired a doula or are considering it, this is a great topic to explore with them as well! With your consent, your doula can even help you reach out to supportive loved ones in your community, sometimes even taking the lead on building out that network.
Postpartum Planning Tips
Below we have listed a number of considerations for your postpartum journey. Take what works for you, throw out what doesn’t resonate, and add other ideas of your own. Work through these tips in an order that works for your family’s unique needs and circumstances.
Name your support team. Just as you create a birth team, we recommend creating a postpartum team. This can include your partner(s), OB/Midwife, a lactation consultant or infant feeding group, birth and/or postpartum doula, baby’s pediatrician, your primary care doctor, a therapist or other mental health professional, friends and family, and babysitters or nannies. Who else do you imagine will be part of your postpartum team?
Consider the roles of your support team. It’s helpful to get clear on what you expect the help of your team to look like and to understand their capacity-- particularly with partners, friends, and family. You might make a list of all the areas of life you guess you’ll need support with, then consider who may be a good fit. Then, ask them if they’re up for it. You can also agree to check in as things progress to see if the plan is still feeling good for everyone. You might begin by thinking of your core postpartum needs, which include rest, healing, nourishment, and connection or social support as a starting point. What tasks or specific needs come to mind under each of these categories? Some tasks you might need support with include laundry, dishes, cooking, time for rest, grocery shopping, decompressing, and childcare for older children.
Sign up for a support or parenting group. Options will vary depending on your local area, and many offerings are now available to families anywhere via online platforms. You might begin an internet search, but we also suggest asking your birth and/or postpartum support team for referrals.
Prepare your space. This might mean creating specific spaces in the home for baby and baby’s items. It might also mean creating snack caddies to have in various places around the home.
Gather supplies. You’ll want some postpartum recovery supplies on deck (peri bottle, witch hazel, pads, etc.). You’ll also need items that support your feeding plan and preferences, and there will be some helpful items for baby. We recommend browsing and posting in your local Buy Nothing Project group, as postpartum and baby stuff is often ready to be passed along. Blogs will try to sell you anything and everything, and while you will need some new and different items for baby, and the truth is, you don’t need all the things. It’s okay to keep it simple and adjust along the way.
Create or engage in rituals that honor your journey. Some rituals clients have shared include baby showers, parent blessing ceremonies, daily pregnancy and/or parenting journaling, belly binding, and placenta art and/or encapsulation. There may be family or cultural rituals that you are called to, and exploring these rituals can be a way to connect with your lineage and community. These rituals might also help you process the transition you have gone through, which may involve grief, joy, and everything in between and all mixed up.
Make a plan for visitors. While support is crucial, your sense of safety, privacy and rest are of utmost importance. It’s okay to say no to visitors or to let them know you and your family need more time and space. When you are ready, it can be helpful to let loved ones know your preferences for visitors. Perhaps there are certain days or times that feel best for you. Especially during the pandemic, you may have specific requests like outdoor visits only and masking. You can ask visitors for help in the specific ways you and your family need. This could look like asking them to bring a meal when they visit or asking them to love on baby while you take a shower and a nap.
Prioritize your mental and emotional health. You know your own mental health best! So, first and foremost, trust what you know, notice, and feel about yourself. It is invaluable to make a specific mental-emotional health plan for postpartum, well before you are postpartum. The same way you consider what foods you like to eat and who can prepare them for you when you are postpartum, think about what helps you feel balanced emotionally well, and who can help you maintain that. We encourage all birthing people to be aware of the various types of perinatal mood disorders that can arise and reach out to their support team if they’re noticing signs or symptoms. This is something you can talk to your support team about both prenatally and during postpartum. Treatment can include medication, talk therapy, and/or support groups.
You’ve Got This
As you prepare for your birth and postpartum journeys, we encourage you to practice asking for help and giving yourself grace along the way. These are skills you’ll need after birth, so the more you practice now, the better!
If you are a doula or a prospective doula who is interested in supporting families postpartum, we would love to connect with you! Our expansive 12-week Postpartum Doula Training is coming up, so be sure to sign up for our mailing list below to be amongst the first to know when enrollment opens.
Finally, if you’d like some additional resources to explore and consider your postpartum experience, check out this podcast episode of Tether Together by birdsong. Additionally, you might like to check out Build Your Nest a postpartum planning workbook if writing and planning are supportive of your process. (Content Note: Some Gendered language; content varies and may not be accessible/applicable for all postpartum people.)