Putting My Dream into Action: Life as a Disabled Doula
After I had received my CONGRATULATIONS emails and raised the money for my books, I thought that it would be smooth sailing towards my new career. I was prepared to followed my dream! BUT, it turned out that it would not be that easy. Please check out Part 1 of my journey Becoming a Disabled Doula and Childbirth Educator here!
Remembering My Purpose
Online learning is not always easy for the typical person, and for a person with a learning disorder and brain damage, it’s even harder. I opened my first online module and was completely lost. I couldn’t understand the presentation or the notes. I was so overwhelmed, and my brain was completely scrambled. All I could do was cry.
I could feel my dream slipping through my fingers. But then I saw a bright spot, the first journal assignment-- a place to share about my DREAM: “Why do you want to be a doula or childbirth educator with BADT?”
For me, the answers are very similar for both questions. I want to reach and teach my community. As a doula I want to be able help, advise, and educate birthing people in bringing in their little pieces of starlight.
I also want to assist young women who are under-resourced through the journey of motherhood. I want to support them in finding the options and opportunities to have a doula or attend private child birthing education classes. All of this, I could answer without question. I could answer without quiver. This was and is my mission. This is the thing that made my heart beat and my soul sing. I want to help birthing people, period!
My Reality of Online Learning
But... how could I live out my purpose that I couldn’t even read or understand what was put in front of me? To be transparent, I fell into a very deep depression. I started to think that my dream was unreachable. This felt like one more thing that my brain damage was taking away from me.
But then I did something that I don’t usually do. I started to advocate for myself. I did something that was very very hard for me: I asked for help. I reached out to the amazing BADT community and asked if there was anyone willing to tutor me, and I received so many amazing responses!
I started working with an extremely patient and hard working young lady from my cohort and together we slowly started to try and work through the coursework. This helped, but I was honestly still hitting blocks left and right. I decided to take a step back and do something else with the things BADT had taught me... I started living my dream.
Putting My Dream Into Action
Even with a tutor, I was still struggling. In this place of challenge, I started thinking outside the box. I decided to take a step back from the course work and put some of what I had learned into practice. I started taking clients on a volunteer basis, and I attended my first birth in November 2020.
To date, I’ve supported 5 clients and witnessed their sweet babies enter the world. Each of these families hold a special place in my heart and the babies will forever be Little Tiny Toes. Currently, I am helping a couple on their journey to get pregnant. This is the most exciting thing I’ve ever been a part of, and it’s shown me that I can do my course work and get certified because I was made to do this work. Living the work has made it all more real and has supported my learning process.
Breyana Floyd is a 26 year old bisexual black woman who is training to be a doula and childbirth educator through BADT. She is also disabled. She has had 5 brain surgeries that have resulted in permanent brain damage and a seizure disorder. Despite it all, she is following her dream to one day be a travelling midwife. Her service is Tiny Noir Toes Doula and Educational Services.