Why Bringing Our Whole Selves To The Fertility Journey Matters
As a non-Asian person practicing Traditional Chinese Medicine, I’d first like to name and give gratitude to my teachers, some of which include Cao Yi, Nan Rui, Dr. Cheng, and Dr. Gao. If you gain useful knowledge from this blog post or from my offerings, I’d like to encourage you, dear reader, to uplift and support Asian practitioners in ways they’d like to be uplifted and supported, either in your local community or online, or both. Thank you.
The Want to Conceive
For the past fourteen years I’ve supported folks with wombs to conceive as a fertility acupuncturist. I’ve accompanied countless patients on their fertility journeys, held a container for their tears and anger, for their joy and triumphs, been with them on their frozen embryo transfer days, been the first person they told they were pregnant, met their beautiful babies (pre-Covid) and partners, celebrated and grieved with them.
Fertility journeys are a deeply human experience, and they bring us face-to-face with the most uncomfortable aspects of desire.
To want to conceive is intensely vulnerable. It’s putting our whole heart on the table, and sometimes a whole lot of money, time, and energy, and it still might not work out in the way we hoped.
To want to conceive can be a powerful longing, or it can be a cautious imagining. It can bring up fears of “infertility,” of pregnancy, childbirth, or parenting. Layer on top of that intersecting oppressed identities such as race, gender, and sexuality, and it can bring up feelings of unworthiness of having a family, shame for being queer, fear of not being treated with respect and dignity in clinical settings, confusion of where and how to start trying to conceive if medical assistance is necessary. And so much more.
I’ve made it my mission to support queer, trans, and non-binary folks with wombs, especially people of color, to regain power over their fertility journey. I support them in conceiving using my Whole Self Fertility Method™ because of my own fertility journey, which has not only led me to my two children, but also back to my Whole Self, over and over again.
According to ancient Chinese medicine texts, our fertility is referred to as our Essence, which translates literally to the essence of who we are – our authentic self, or what I call our Whole Self. The more we are able to get in touch with who we really are, our Essence, the more access we have to our fertile potential and creative power.
In my personal experience, in my clinical experience working with patients, and in my experience working with clients online, bringing our Whole Self to the fertility journey ensures much greater success, with countless beneficial side effects.
What is the Whole Self and how do we bring it to our fertility journey?
Our fertility is not simply our reproductive organs. Our fertility is much more dynamic and alive than that. We are multi-faceted, interconnected, mysterious, constantly changing beings that want to be seen, valued, and supported in our entirety, and our fertility—our creative power—responds to the presence or absence of that wholeness.
The Whole Self includes the intersection of our oppressed identities such as race, sexuality, gender, and more. When one or more of these identities are not seen, valued, and respected on our fertility journey, our fertility suffers.
The Whole Self includes our Mind, Body, and Spirit. When one of these aspects of ourselves is not invited on our fertility journey, our fertility suffers.
Our Whole Self includes all the elements of nature, as acknowledged by Chinese medicine and other ancient medicine systems. We are part of the earth’s elements, and the earth’s elements are part of us. When we leave out caring for and acknowledging the elements on our fertility journey, our fertility suffers.
The Whole Self Fertility Method™ brings the five elements into balance – Earth, Metal, Water, Wood, and Fire. Each element corresponds to an organ system in the body, a specific set of emotions, and spiritual growth invitations, all of which work together to increase a person’s fertility. All through the lens of queer, trans, and non-binary PGM (People of the Global Majority aka BIPOC) liberation.
Earth
Associated with: Spleen / Stomach
Invitation: Ambiguous Self Becomes Nourished Self
You’ll especially benefit from balancing Earth if you’ve been diagnosed with or have experienced PCOS, hypothyroid, any type of auto-immune condition, food sensitivity or allergy, irritable bowel syndrome, Chrohn’s disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, or recurrent miscarriage.
Balancing Earth includes:
What nourishing yourself looks like on all levels, especially as a queer, trans, or non-binary person of the global majority (QTNBPGM) and what it has to do with preventing miscarriage
How digestion affects the fertile environment in your body and how to improve yours
The importance of boundary setting to increase your fertility, especially if you struggle with auto-immune disorders, digestive issues, or food sensitivities, plus tools to start setting healthy boundaries now
Culturally sensitive fertility enhancing food recommendations
How to eat throughout your cycle to support your fertility in each phase
Optimal prenatal supplementation
How to determine if you are Qi (“chee” means energy) and/or Blood deficient and easy ways to replenish both in order to hold a pregnancy
Metal
Associated with: Lungs / Large Intestine
Invitation:Lost Self Becomes Soulful Self
You’ll especially benefit from balancing Metal if you’ve been diagnosed with or have experienced “unexplained infertility,” depression and/or anxiety, frequent respiratory issues like colds, asthma, bronchitis, or pneumonia, chronic skin conditions like eczema, sensitivity or rashes, or feelings of disconnection from your Soulful Self.
Balancing Metal includes:
How to honor and grieve your Lost Self; the full authentic expression of yourself that wasn’t seen, honored or valued, and maybe still isn’t, in order to clear the energetic pathways that connect to your Soulful Self, and to new soul/s that want to come into your life
Valuable practices to honor other types of loss you’ve experienced, including miscarriage and abortion, so that you can move forward in your fertility journey with more lightness and hope
Effective techniques to clear any known or unknown emotional blockages or resistance around pregnancy, birth, or becoming a parent
Tips to improve your bowel movements, thereby encouraging literal and metaphorical “letting go,” and toxicity build up in the body that can lead to a sub-fertile internal environment
Strategies to protect your fertility from environmental pollutants that surround us every day
Water
Associated with: Kidney / Urinary Bladder
Invitation: Thwarted Self Becomes Authentic Self
You’ll especially benefit from balancing Water if you’ve been diagnosed with or have experienced “unexplained infertility,” poor egg quality, anovulation, short follicular phase, perimenopause, adrenal fatigue, low libido, low back pain, early hair graying, night sweats, or hot flashes.
Balancing Water includes:
Honoring the significance of your Kidney Essence, also known as your “fertility blueprint,” as it relates to your fertility and the full expression of your Authentic Self
Exploring your relationship to resources, especially as a QTNBPGM, and strategies to resource yourself that will increase your fertility
Exploring your relationship to your own sexual energy, pleasure, and desire, especially as a QTNBPGM, and how to bring all three into your fertility journey in order to have more access to your creative potential
The importance of a “premester” and how to increase egg health and quality
How to nourish and keep in balance Kidney Yin and Kidney Yang, which is crucial to achieving the right hormone balance to conceive and prevent early menopause
The role that things like constitution, genetics, and birth order play in your inherent fertility and how to boost it if it’s deficient
How to replenish and maintain your reserves, from a Chinese medicine point of view, in order to protect your fertility
Wood
Associated with: Liver / Gallbladder
Invitation: Stuck Self Becomes Powerful Self
You’ll especially benefit from balancing Wood if you’ve been diagnosed with or have experienced PMS, irregular cycles, endometriosis, PCOS, clotting factors, polyps, cysts, growths in or around the reproductive organs, high blood pressure, or high stress levels.
Balancing Wood includes:
Exploring your relationship to power, especially as a QTNBPGM, and how to connect with your Powerful Self on your fertility journey
Stress and anxiety reduction techniques to address the emotional exhaustion of pursuing parenthood and the extra efforts of conceiving, especially as a QTNBPGM
Techniques to quit your bad-for-fertility vices (like coffee and alcohol) and replace them with good ones in order to reduce inflammation and optimally balance your hormones for conceiving
The role anger plays in your fertile health, and how to safely express it so that it doesn’t contribute to hormone imbalances
How to instantly signal to your body that it’s safe to conceive (a crucial step that most people don’t know about)
Simple, yet powerful, trauma healing techniques to create feelings of embodied safety as a QTNBPGM in order to positively influence your ability to conceive
How to stop feeling stuck in the future, always anticipating the next step in the process, and ground yourself in the present moment and thus improve your fertility
How much body movement is too much when trying to conceive, and how to discover the right amount for you
Fire
Associated with: Heart / Small Intestine
Invitation: Anxious Self Becomes Joyful Self
You’ll especially benefit from balancing Fire if you’ve been diagnosed with or have experienced anxiety, heart palpitations, perimenopause, hot flashes, night sweats, vivid dreams, chronic UTIs, or insomnia.
Balancing Fire includes:
How to restore connection with your Joyful Self, especially as a QTNBPGM, and why that’s important to create a more fertile environment in your body
How to improve the communication between the Heart and the Uterus, from a Chinese medicine point of view, in order to improve your chances of conceiving
The art of “Vertical living” (vs. “Horizontal Living”), according to Chinese medicine, and how this method positively affects your fertility
Just how important sleep is to your fertility (very!) and how to improve yours
Join Me!
For folks who are trying to conceive and want to learn the Whole Self Fertility Method™, I invite you to join the waitlist for my 5-week online program, Fertile.
Fellow birth workers, join me in the classroom with BADT’s Fertility & Conception Continuing Education Course. Find more info and sign up here! And if you’re interested in getting certified in the Whole Self Fertility Method™, reach out to me here.
Josie Rodriguez-Bouchier L.Ac. (they/them) is a queer, non-binary, Latinx fertility acupuncturist, and Queer Reproductive Health and Justice advocate. Since 2008, they have been supporting folks with wombs to conceive with the help of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Josie's mission is to re-center queer, trans, and non-binary BIPOC in the reproductive healthcare realm and beyond. Josie is the host of The Intersectional Fertility Podcast and creator of the Whole Self Fertility Method™. They live on stolen Cheyenne land, known today as Lakewood, Colorado, with their fiancée, two children, and two rescue pups. Learn more about their work at intersectionalfertility.com