6 Considerations for Supporting Birthing Families Through the Holidays
This time of year can be busy and full, despite the fact that our bodies are calling on us to rest and slow down more than ever. (Check out this illustration series by Sophie Lucido Johnson about being gentle with our “animal bodies” here.)
The holidays* can be a difficult time to be a doula, AND it can be a difficult time to be a birthing person. This blog offers a few considerations for doulas as you prepare for supporting birthing families through this season. We are hopeful that with intention and care, both birth workers and birthing families can get what they need during the holidays.
*We acknowledge that each doula and each family has unique rituals, practices, and celebrations. We are using this term “holidays” as it succinctly encapsulates what is happening on the calendar and in mainstream Western culture.
Get clear on your own needs, preferences, and boundaries FIRST. It can be so tricky in this work, especially because it cannot always be scheduled for specific dates and times. Yes, we get it– you love this work, you want to work with clients you are excited about, and, in reality, you may need the work. AND it’s super important to do care work in sustainable ways. A huge part of this is honoring your needs and preferences and letting these be reflected in your boundaries. If you need time to be with family, to rest and reset, to be alone, etc., we encourage you to take this time!
Have direct conversations with the families you are supporting. Be sure to discuss your boundaries and their expectations ahead of time; if possible, we suggest doing this prior to being hired. If you are planning to take time off, ensure the family is clear on those dates/times, and you have a backup plan in place, if needed.
Offer plenty of planning/preparation support. While you may not have the capacity (or desire) to support folks during the holidays, there’s a lot of support system planning you can guide families through ahead of time. This might look like discussing laundry services and/or meal prep services, scheduling friend/family support, practicing saying no, role-playing boundaries conversations, and so on.
Discuss risk-assessment and mitigation. It’s important to discuss the risk of infection (flu, RSV, COVID, etc.) transmission any time of year, but especially during the winter. This is a conversation between you and the family you are working with. Additionally, you can support them in preparing for conversations with their friends and family about things like masking, testing, vaccinations, hand-washing, and any other risk-mitigation strategies they want to put into practice.
Acknowledge that there may be more systemic barriers in place. Folks may have less/limited access to care providers due to office closures around the holidays. Newly postpartum people, for example, may have a harder time getting in touch with their pediatrician if they have a question. Folks seeking abortion, for instance, may have to wait additional days to understand their options. People may need help triaging their challenges and figuring out who they can get a hold of for more urgent matters. Additionally, you may be able to offer information, evidence, or resources to support families as they wait for care providers to get back in touch.
Create backup plans. As mentioned in #2, you may need to have a backup doula for dates you are unavailable. We suggest that doulas always have backup plans, but this is particularly crucial during respiratory virus season and on dates you are not working. This consideration can also apply to conversations you have with clients, like those mentioned in #3. They can find security and peace in knowing they have a backup plan if their original support plans fall through. For example, they may plan to have a family member stay in the home with them, but if that person gets sick, who will they ask for help instead?
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